Relationships Are Easy

I was talking to a dear friend about relationships. She is currently in a good one, with a boy whom she connects in a way she never imagined (she never dated much, and never saw herself settling down). She mentioned how easy the relationship is; they just are. They simply hang out with each other, enjoy one another’s company, and it’s easy.

That got me to thinking about how easy life is. Life is meant to be simple. Look at nature. Effortless. A tree grows through rock in the mountains with ease and grace. Look at the cycles. Effortless. Grass grows without effort. Wind blows without effort. Life is meant to be easy.

We are nature. Why do we insist on making things so complicated for ourselves? We can choose to have an easy life. We can choose to have easy relationships.

So many people try in relationships. They have conversation after conversation about how to alter their dynamic so they can be “right” for one other.  They come up with tests that the other person has to pass. When there is a sense that something is not working, or not lining up, they try really hard to make it work. But the best relationships are those that happen with ease; those that just are, because life is meant to be easy and relationships are meant to be easy.

The best relationships happen naturally, without effort. They happen because the two people simply jive with each other. When we are living in alignment with ourselves, it’s easy. Think about your best friend. I assume there was not a lot of effort that caused the two of you to become best friends. It was just a few conversations. You were strangers, you hung out, you really connected, so you hung out some more. Without effort; without motivation; without “I hope this person will be my future best friend” when you’ve only just gotten to know them. Instead, we think “that person was cool, I hope we hang out again sometime”, and it is not clouded with a yearning; with a desperate sense of “oh I hope they call”. Over time and over many conversations, that person grew naturally into your best friend.

You never say to your buddy, “hey, we need to talk about our relationship because I want to be best friends with you and there are some things that are not working”. It is not fight after fight, There is not an effort to change a lot of things, or make a large amount of compromises.

It developed naturally. It developed without assumption or expectation. The relationship happened almost without any effort from yourself. It happened easily; like a tree pushing through rock.

If this hasn’t happened for you, be gentle with yourself. You just haven’t met them yet.