Coping With The Single Life

There are people who seem unable to cope without a significant other. They struggle when a relationship ends, not just because they mourn the loss of that relationship, but more because they do not like being single. It is not so much the person that they miss, but the role that person played. Some people are uncomfortable when they are not in a relationship. They struggle with spending time alone and the moment one relationship ends, they are on to the next.

I say be single, even if it’s a challenge. Be single and build that relationship with yourself because once you are living in a strong sense of me, once you are living in a strong sense of who I am; and feeling grounded in your self awareness, being single wont hurt any more. In fact, being single will feel good.  And when being single starts to feel good, it is a sign that you’ve created a healthy relationship with yourself.

Being in a healthy relationship with yourself encompasses being true to yourself. It is a consequence of living a life that is in alignment with your higher self. When this becomes your reality, you will be open to meeting someone who lines up with this higher self; someone who mirrors and supports who you really are. And then that relationship will feel good. Being single will feel good, and then when the time comes, being in an appropriate relationship will feel good. Creating a relationship with someone who meshes with who you are will feel so much better then jumping from relationship to relationship with random people who may or may not be compatible with you. It will feel better than picking people at random.

Let’s say, hypothetically, you get married when you are 30 years old (I’m not saying that there’s a deadline), that gives you the next 60 years of your life (approximately) to be with that person. That’s a long time. Why are there so many people struggling in their first 30 years of being single? Enjoy those thirty years of being single; don’t waste them. It’s only a small portion of your life.

When I see people at the age of fifteen, struggling with the idea of being single, or struggling because they don’t know how to be single, and they spend the next 10-15 years feeling this way, I can’t help but mourn for them. I feel sad for these young people because those are years wasted.

Talk to people who have been married for forty years. A lot of them miss the days when they were single. Why would you ever want something that you don’t have? Enjoy what you have. When you are single, enjoy it and love it. When you are in a relationship, enjoy it and love it. There is no point in wishing for the other. Suffering comes from wanting what we don't have and from desperatly seeking that which we are not ready for. Love what you have. Love where you're at.